I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
