That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
