I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
