R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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