and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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