he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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