dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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