i just google imaged poop.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
But break dance skills will only take you so far
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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