Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize