i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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