found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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