She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize