she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
