This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
