wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
