drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
