The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
