I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
