Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
