Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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