Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
