would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
