Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
