do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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