But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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