Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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