You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
