Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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