You smell like stripper and shame
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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