Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
