I got chris browned last night
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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