Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
