I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
