i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
jump out the window naked night went bad
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
