Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
