You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
