Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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