My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
