I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
