I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
