The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
