Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
you made out with another girl for some wings
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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