I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
