She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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