believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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