This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
