we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
