maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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