How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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