oh god the rape fog is back!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
