I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
