then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
