Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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