And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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