Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
