i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
