I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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