Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
