That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
