My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize