No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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