i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
